First of my Deep Posts- This is me

Sometimes life is just so confusing. We try to be the best we can be and we still find ourselves slipping. No matter what happens we can only stand up and continue on no matter if it hurts to do so. There are times in life when giving up seems to be an easy way out, but consequences will occur no matter what choice is made. Those in our lives always have an idea of how you should be, which tends to be slightly different from reality. No matter what, it is best to be true to yourself and those you love.

I want to address my life from an outsider's perspective-I know this is a different kind of blog than usual but it is necessary. I am an open book and I've always been honest about who I am. Writing things down helps me realize just exactly who I am and come to a conclusion on what I can do better and what are my strong points. I am utterly faithful to my friends, family, and relationships. We can always get into arguments but I am always honest in an argument and will back myself up. I can be self-criticizing to end an argument and give myself the blame for the sake of disagreeing. I tend to put relationships as first priority along side school which actually benefit each other. If I fall for you, I fall hard. If you hurt me, I hurt pretty deep. I often use past experiences in my life to judge how I react to things now, but I'm trying to change that. I can say that I am not someone who is a pass up. I do think I have something to offer and that I can love unconditionally- which I do now. When I'm in a relationship I'm in it for the long haul. I am often naive and can be ignorant to some things but I am generally a happy person. I always look to the positives even when it's hard to see it. My personality is complex- I think to myself A LOT, and think I'm always right, as we all do. I am who I am and I can be spontaneous, loud, exciting, but worrisome. I am always thinking about my morals and how important to me my relationships are. I am very opinionated and hold my ground in conversations. I love attention, and I can become emotionally invested in another person- which also means I'm easily broken. I have a good head on my shoulders and know what I want out of life, even if it takes me a while to get there. I'm tend to be the life of the party and like to show everyone a good time while still thinking about everything semi-logically. I've been broken, I've been down, but I am myself now because of it. I have changed a lot- my friends could tell you how I used to be "just another asshole" and at one point-lost inside myself. I may be the kind of person who needs someone now, but it's who I am and I'm happy with who I've become.

What I need YOU to know is that I love you. You know who you are. I give you 100% of me and nothing less. You are everything I could have hoped for and more-we could fight or anything and I'd never feel any less. It's hard to fight with you of course but I am so willing to work it all out which I think is a decent quality. You have made me realize how happy I can be.

To everyone who has ever been or is close to me- I truly thank you for making me who I am because of you all. Without knowing you I would still be a lost middle school kid who is afraid of being left out.

My life is measured in the people who move me along the way. I tend to think that my aspirations, while still being mine, are never possible without others being a part of my life.

I've been through a lot of loss, gain, and unmoving ground in life- but I wouldn't ask for it to be different.

This is the first of my deeper posts. I hope you enjoyed it.